


If you were church, I’d get on my knees

by Toomanyfandoms99



Series: (No Longer A) Secret Marriage [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Greek Mythology - Freeform, M/M, Secret Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 06:55:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13758684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: Dean felt his heart drop to his stomach.  “You’re telling me-”“That Cassie protects the legacy of Hades, the god of death?”  Gabriel paused.  “Yes.  Yes, I am.”





	If you were church, I’d get on my knees

**Author's Note:**

> The title was taken from the song "Church" by Fall Out Boy. This is part 1 of a story arc I'm doing for this series. Enjoy!

Dean didn’t know what to do.

He was watching a movie with Sam, Cas, and Gabriel, but Dean was focused on Cas.

Something was on his angel’s mind.

And it didn’t look good at all.

————

After the movie was over, Gabriel and Cas shared a look before the archangel disappeared. Sam left the room, mumbling that he was going to sleep.

When it was just Dean and Cas on opposite ends of the couch, a chasm between them, Dean couldn’t take it anymore.

Dean asked softly, “what’s on your mind?”

Cas deflated, as if expecting this. Dean had never seen so much conflict in his husband’s face before.

Dean wanted to help, but he didn’t know what to do.

In all the years he’d known Cas, he’d never seen him quite like this.

Cas stared at his hands, fiddling with his silver wedding ring. His eyes were a muted blue, his lips in a thin line, his expression too complex for Dean to read.

Dean wanted to move closer to him, but he settled for moving his hand in Cas’s direction, in case he wanted to take it.

Cas stared at the offered hand for a long moment, but closed his own hands into fists.

Dean said softly in Enochian, “you’re scaring me a little. What’s going on?”

Cas glanced sideways at Dean, exhaling deeply. “I have to go away with Gabe tomorrow.”

Dean was used to hearing this, but this time was obviously different. Dean moved an inch towards Cas, who was staring at his hands again.

Cas said quietly, “I’m doing something very dangerous. It’s important.”

Dean bit his lip. “How dangerous?”

Cas said, almost inaudibly, “I could die.”

Dean inhaled sharply. He wanted to explode in anger, but he closed his eyes to calm himself. When he opened them, Cas was looking at him again. 

Dean said weakly, “dying is where I draw the line. You can’t die, Cas.”

Cas smoothed a finger over his wedding ring pointedly. “I know, Dean. I know.”

Dean swallowed thickly. “Do you have to go?”

“Gabe can’t do it alone. And I don’t want to lose my brother again.”

“Can you tell me anything else about this secret mission tomorrow?” 

Cas pursed his lips. “I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.”

Dean huffed in acceptance. “Promise?”

Cas finally took Dean’s outstretched hand. “I promise.” After a moment, Cas asked hesitantly, “can you hold me?”

Dean smiled. “C’mere.”

————

Dean held Cas in his arms the entire night.

When Dean woke up, Cas and Gabriel were gone.

————

It took Dean a while to gather the courage to leave his room.

Whenever Cas left, Dean would stare at photos he had of Cas until he felt better.

When Dean first started to do this, he kept hearing a voice in his head calling him weak and stupid.

Now, it was a comfort. Plain and simple.

Dean started sneakily taking photos of Cas when they began secretly dating. The first one he looked at was of Cas curled up in his library armchair, scowling at the book in his lap. A smile reached Dean’s lips at the memory of Dean kissing that scowl off of Cas’s face after the picture was taken.

The second photo was of Cas driving in his tan car, so focused on the road that he didn’t notice Dean taking a picture. Dean remembered watching Cas drive, his adoration for the angel as plain as day on his face. Cas eventually glanced at him and pulled a face, Dean laughing fondly.

The third photo was of Cas mid-laugh during a nerdy movie marathon with Sam. His brother had probably said a clever quip about the movie playing. 

The fourth photo was taken shortly after they were married. It was of Cas wearing Dean’s AC/DC T-shirt — dubbed the boyfriend shirt — with a flannel tied around the waist of his jeans. He was scrambling eggs in the bunker kitchen for Dean, all of his energy focused on the singular task. After taking the picture, Dean recalled wrapping his arms around Cas’s waist, hugging him from behind and resting his chin on the angel’s shoulder.

The final photo was of Cas actually looking at the camera, smiling softly at Dean. This was the Cas that Dean loved the most. This was the Cas that no one else saw. 

Dean put the pictures back in the shoebox he hid them in, sighing deeply.

He really hoped Cas was okay.

————

Later that morning, when Sam and Dean were on their laptops, Gabriel appeared.

Before the hunters could say anything, Gabriel said, “okay, you guys need to know some things.”

Sam was about to make a clever remark, but Dean shushed him. 

Dean had never seen Gabriel look so serious.

“What’s going on?” Dean asked.

Gabriel sat down and addressed Dean. “What did Cassie tell you about today?”

“He said he was doing something dangerous and that he’d tell me about it when it was over.”

“Well, you’re in luck, Dean-o,” Gabriel said, “because I’m gonna tell you everything.”

“Does Cas know about this?” Dean asked.

“No.” Gabriel’s face crumpled. “And you can’t tell him that I came here.”

Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why not?”

“Just,” Gabriel sighed, “just listen to me, okay?”

“Go ahead,” Sam said.

Gabriel took a breath and began. “Centuries ago, when Greek gods started to die out, my Father had an idea. In a sense, he wanted to keep these gods and goddesses alive. To do that, Father preserved the powers of the Greek gods and bestowed them upon only the worthiest of angels.” Dean could tell Sam wanted to interrupt, but he held up a hand in silence. “The original gods were sent to Heaven while their posts became a legacy to be passed down from angel to angel. And Sam, before you ask, the gods’ immortality was a myth and their marriages with each other were dissolved when they died.” Sam nodded and Gabriel continued, “the gods operate mostly in the shadows, and rarely come together in modern times. But the day is upon us for the Greek gods to meet again. This isn’t going to be an ordinary meeting, though. It is rumored that Lucifer,” the Winchesters perked up, “has killed the protector of Ares’s legacy, the god of war, and is impersonating him. If this is true, Cassie and I have a chance to trap him. And it’s a good thing, too, that Luci decided to infiltrate a meeting between Greek gods. It just so happens,” Gabriel smirked, “that I am the legacy of Hermes, the messenger god.”

The brothers let this information sink in. Then, Dean asked, “what does Cas have to do with this?”

Gabriel’s face fell immediately. His voice grew quiet. “So here’s the thing. Cassie was different, centuries ago. Still the best damn angel in heaven, but he could be...cold. He could be cruel, when he had to be. And he definitely had to be, especially when he was given the quote-unquote honor...of becoming the legacy of,” Gabriel cleared his throat, “Hades.”

Dean felt his heart drop to his stomach. “You’re telling me-”

“That Cassie protects the legacy of Hades, the god of death?” Gabriel paused. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

Sam said, “that doesn’t make sense,” but to Dean, he sounded far away.

Dean refocused before he could drift too far into his own mind. 

Gabriel noticed the change in Dean and continued, “like I said. Cassie’s changed. He’s always had compassion, but he had the ability to become completely unattached and unemotional. Almost like your average angel. But he can’t do that anymore.” Gabriel looked right at Dean. “He’s changed, more than you know, because of you, Dean. For the better, in my opinion. But that isn’t going to help him now. Cassie needs to, for a day, be as he was before. And it’s killing him, now more than ever, to put on a mask.” Gabriel paused and said, “Cassie was a good protector of Hades’s legacy because he had nothing to lose.”

Dean didn’t need to finish the archangel's last thought. “Is this why Cas was so distant last night?”

“Therein, Dean Winchester, lies the problem. He’s making a mistake by distancing himself from you. And that’s why I want you to come to the meeting in disguise.”

Dean’s eyebrows went to his hairline. “Isn’t that, like, a big no-no?”

“You’ll be a mouse in a den of lions. That is true. And although Cassie can’t know you’re there, you should see who you married. You should see all of him. Cassie’s been hiding this part of him from you for too long.”

Dean considered Gabriel’s words. He had gravely underestimated his husband’s issues.

He would have to rectify that as soon as possible.

Dean glanced at his gold wedding band, then back up at the archangel. 

With finality, Dean said, “I’ll come.”

————

Gabriel arrived at the meeting venue incredibly early. It was taking place in an old church, abandoned decades ago, surrounded by two towers where nuns used to live. 

Gabriel went to the left tower, all the way to the top floor. He knocked on the door, receiving a faint invitation to enter.

Gabriel opened the door and immediately bolted it shut. The room was almost completely dark, with a few candles scattered across the room. He could sense Castiel’s presence as he began undergoing the ancient ritual that would temporarily give him the powers of Hades.

Castiel had to let the darkness consume him. He had to be stronger than ever today. 

He had to stomp on his own heart and bury his happiness in a grave so deep that it reached Earth’s core. Metaphorically, of course.

Gabriel said into the darkness, “we have two hours before everyone else starts to arrive.”

Cas’s voice was emotionless when he asked, “where’d you go?”

“I just-”

Cas sighed like a teenager. “I don’t care, never mind.”

Gabriel couldn’t help but smile in the blackness. “I can see that the ritual’s working.”

“Wipe that smile off your face. This isn’t a fucking county fair.”

That only made Gabriel laugh. “There’s my favorite Debbie Downer. Haven’t seen you in a while, Deb.”

Gabriel saw Cas facepalm in the candlelight and sigh deeply. “Just get out of here.”

“Yeesh, fine.” Gabriel held up his hands in surrender.

That’s when there was a knock on the door.

Gabriel and Cas froze.

The door was yanked open forcefully, Gabriel and Cas gasping when they saw-

“Balthazar.”

————

Balthazar brightened the lights in the room, surveying Castiel and Gabriel.

“Hey there, favorite bros!” Balthazar exclaimed.

Gabriel and Cas materialized angel blades in their hands.

He held up his hands in surrender. “I’m not here to hurt anyone, boys.”

Gabriel put his blade away, but Cas was rightfully apprehensive.

Balthazar looked at Cas, keeping his expression neutral. “I forgive you. I understand why you killed me.”

Castiel read Balthazar’s expression for a long moment, casting his blade away at last.

“Cassie, why are you undergoing the ritual so early?” Balthazar inquired.

“I have a lot of work to do,” Cas said clinically.

“A lot to hide?”

Cas narrowed his eyes. 

“Okay, I’ll shut up about it.” Balthazar clapped his hands together and said, “I’m here because I want to help.”

Gabriel and Castiel feigned confused expressions.

Balthazar sighed. “I know that Lucifer’s become the legacy of Ares. I’m offering my services as the protector of Dionysus’s legacy.”

“How’s the god of wine and ridiculous parties going to help?” Cas asked dully.

Balthazar smiled lightly. “I’m sure we can figure something out.”

————

Once the three angels altered their plan, Gabriel and Balthazar finally left Castiel alone.

As Castiel got deeper and deeper into the ritual, he felt his emotions being buried until hardly a trace of him was left. He heightened the emotions he would need for the mission. Anger, bitterness, sadness, calmness.

Castiel let his inner darkness become an entity, expelling it outwards and fashioning it into a cloak.

He hadn’t done this is a long time. And so much had changed since the last meeting.

This was going to be hard.

He prayed that he was strong enough to keep his composure.

Castiel was almost finished with the ritual when he felt his all-consuming darkness enclose around his faintly beating heart.

He felt the transformation take root inside his heart, spreading throughout his veins like a sickness.

He felt the powers of Hades take hold, mingling with the darkness and causing sparks to fly from his fingertips.

Castiel slipped the ring of Hades over one finger, securing his powers. He put other metal rings on his fingers containing strong magic as failsafes.

He couldn’t have the god of death’s powers running rampant.

Unless it had to do with Lucifer. Then all bets were off.

Cas secured his magically-produced outfit, wearing his overlong cloak like a shroud. Castiel looked in the mirror as his inner darkness mixed with the cloak threads and moved like a living thing.

Castiel then examined his face. His eyes had changed the right pigment, his only indication that the ritual was a complete success. His hair was styled back, his skin a few shades paler than usual.

Suddenly, Castiel heard a knock on the door. He heard Gabriel’s voice ask, “ready?”

Castiel went to open the door.

————

When Dean and Sam saw Gabriel later that day, he had just undergone the ritual.

Both brothers stood, mouths agape, at the transformation.

Gabriel’s hair was more blonde than brunette, his eyes a startling shade of molten gold. His clothes were a pearly white, the fabric moving about like it was alive.

“Are you both gonna stare at me all day?” Gabriel struck a pose. “I look fabulous, I know.” Dean facepalmed and Gabriel got back to business. “Okay, I’m going to cast a spell on you guys so that everyone else won’t see your outer appearances.”

“Like a cloaking spell?” Sam asked.

“Exactly like a cloaking spell, Samsquatch,” Gabriel answered, Sam giving the archangel Bitch Face Number 14 at the nickname.

Gabriel spoke some Latin phrases, but the brothers were surprised that they looked the same.

“Did it work?” Sam asked.

“Oh, it worked,” Gabriel said. He procured a mirror from thin air and showed them their appearances.

The brothers shrugged. Sam said, “I’m glad he didn’t make us ugly.” 

Dean chuckled.

“Okay, so since we last spoke, we have a surprise new addition to the team.”

“Who?” Dean asked.

“Balthazar.”

“What?” The brothers shrieked in unison.

Gabriel said, “he’s fine guys. He holds no grudges, and he wants Lucifer gone just as much as we do.”

“What does he want in return?” Sam asked.

“He wants his two favorite brothers back. Me and Cassie. I sense no ulterior motives.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Sam said, Gabriel nodding in assent.

“Dean, that leaves you to focus on Cassie,” Gabriel said. “It’s not like you need an excuse to stare at him, anyway. You do it all the time.”

Dean wanted to protest at first, but then he shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“Now, Dean, I need to warn you. What you’re gonna see isn’t your Cassie. Not completely.”

“What do you mean?”

“When angels retake their legacy, they undergo a sacred ritual. It’s what gives angels the temporary powers of the gods. For Cassie, the ritual forces him to banish positive emotions.”

Dean clenched his jaw. “That’s an awful thing to do to someone.”

“I’m aware of that,” Gabriel replied. “But that’s how it is.”

Dean was going to hate this. He would have to get through this, though.

For his husband.

————

Castiel opened the door to see Gabriel as Hermes and Balthazar as Dionysus.

It was strange to see the two brothers he was closest to in their Greek garb after so long.

He took in Gabriel’s white clothes and golden eyes, then Balthazar’s grape-colored outfit and mauve eyes.

Castiel put up with his brother’s stares for a moment.

“What?” Cas asked bluntly.

They both cleared their throats and said, “nothing.”

“You two ready?”

“I’m ready. What about you, Bali?”

“I was born ready.”

————

Gabriel had set Dean and Sam up as guards during the proceedings.

Dean and Sam tried not to look awestruck as Greek gods and goddess started to file into the church.

Dean was succeeding in hiding his emotions. Sam, not so much.

“Don’t be such a nerd and get it together,” Dean snapped at his younger brother.

If this were any other circumstance, Sam would have started to bicker with Dean.

Sam would allow his brother this one, though. He was stressed enough about Cas.

So Sam schooled his expression, pretending that the Greek gods weren’t the coolest thing he’s ever seen.

————

Castiel, Gabriel, and Balthazar were among the last to enter the church.

Sam and Dean saw Balthazar first, both of them hiding a scowl at his presence. 

Cas’s brothers sure had a thing for coming back from the dead.

Gabriel was next, his appearance gaining a few stares. He faked his death in front of Pagan gods, after all.

Castiel made Dean’s heart almost stop.

His usually tan skin had taken on a pale quality, and he seemed to be wearing a shroud of choking blackness. His eyes were no longer blue. Dean’s hope of seeing recognition in those eyes — any indication that this was still his Cas — were dashed. His irises were instead a dark gray, like a rain-filled storm cloud.

Or like a dead person’s ashes.

Cas wore various rings on his fingers, each one incredibly unique. Dean recognized the one on Cas’s ring finger — the one where his silver wedding band would usually be — to be Hades’s source of power.

Dean bit his tongue, almost drawing blood, at the sight before him.

To his chagrin, Gabriel wasn’t exaggerating about the change he would see in Cas.

This was the darkest parts of his husband, turned inside out for all to see.

Dean didn’t know what to do or how to feel about that. But he’d have to figure it out soon.

The Greek gods and goddesses assembled around a table in the church.

That’s when Lucifer strolled in.

————

When Lucifer appeared, his outfit and eyes as red as blood, the angel brothers surveyed the other gods.

They all looked terrified.

Gabriel and Castiel gave a pointed look to Balthazar. He nodded and sent a mental message to the other gods asking for help.

Slyly, they all answered the mental call.

Lucifer, unbeknownst to the exchange, reached the giant table, a shit-eating grin on his face.

That’s when a portal opened up in the room.

Castiel recognized the yawning darkness on the other side.

Was Lucifer really that stupid?

Lucifer drank in the sight of a few gods looking genuinely frightened.

He didn’t seem to see Balthazar, Gabriel, or Castiel, though.

The three brothers shared looks with some other brave gods.

They all seemed to be asking the same question: was Lucifer seriously this stupid?

Castiel watched as a pack of demons came out of the portal, ready for a fight.

That’s when Castiel laughed, loudly and cruelly and devoid of mirth.

The sound speared through the air, as effective as a gunshot, only messier and bloodier than a bullet could ever dream of being.

All eyes turned to Cas, the demons even stopping in their tracks.

Lucifer’s grin was gone in a flash.

The living darkness stitched in Cas’s cloak brushed against his hands playfully, twirling between his fingers and lapping at his feet.

When Cas’s eyes pierced through Lucifer’s, the devil fell to his knees against his will. 

Cas reveled in Lucifer’s shock, the tendrils of his inner darkness skating around his arms in delight.

Cas stroked the ring of Hades, the god’s powers squeezing Lucifer’s lungs, causing him to gasp and choke. 

He hardly needed to lift a finger.

Castiel glided towards Lucifer, his expression enough to have even Gabriel and Balthazar look afraid in his peripheral vision.

Cas flicked his hand towards the demons, the tendrils from his hands flying from his fingers and cutting through their bodies like darts. Before their bodies could hit the floor, the tendrils circled the vessels and converted them to ash, which then disappeared like nothing was ever there. Castiel closed his hand into a fist, the portal to hell sealing shut as unceremoniously as it appeared. He called the tendrils back, the strips of flying darkness mingling back into his cloak.

He turned his attention back to Lucifer, who was struggling for breath, his hands and knees on the hard floor.

Cas watched the fallen archangel acting like a pathetic dog and ate up the image greedily.

Cas knelt to Lucifer’s level, tilting up his chin with one finger.

Impassively, Castiel asked, “are you done with your pitiful theatrics?”

Lucifer looked into Castiel’s eyes, and the seraphim couldn’t mistake what he saw in the archangel's eyes as anything other than fear.

Castiel had broken Lucifer.

If Cas had his full spectrum of emotions, he would have smiled.

Instead, Cas grabbed Lucifer’s jaw gently, the archangel nearly careening backwards at the unforeseen softness.

Sometimes, being gentle had the same effect as being rough.

Castiel said stoically, “it’s good that you’re afraid. You should be.”

Cas let go of Lucifer’s jaw and stood up gracefully. He stepped back, allowing the Greek gods and goddesses to swarm the archangel like vultures. Balthazar and Gabriel were caught up in the madness, most of the group zapping Lucifer to a location that would be strong enough to hold him.

Cas teleported back to his room at the top of the tower.

————

Dean didn’t know what to think when his husband disappeared during the commotion.

Or about anything that had happened since Lucifer walked into the room.

All he knows is that he needs to find Cas.

As if he read Dean’s mind, Gabriel appeared beside Sam and Dean. His magic seemed to be stripping itself away, his golden eyes growing dull and his outfit in tatters.

“Well that didn’t go as planned,” Gabriel said, adjusting his white cloak. He spoke some Latin phrases, taking away Dean and Sam’s disguises.

“Where’s Lucifer?” Sam asked.

“Balthazar and some other gods have him secured. He’s not going anywhere with the wrath of Greek gods against him.” Gabriel materialized a mirror, showing that the Winchesters were back to their normal selves. Gabriel addressed Dean, “I have to ask: do you love Cassie any less?”

Dean was surprised at the concern in the archangel's voice. Wonders never ceased when the trickster showed how overprotective of his younger brother he really was.

After thoroughly considering the question and searching through his soul, Dean said honestly, “no. I don’t think anything could make me love him less.”

Gabriel sensed the truth of his statement, almost sighing in relief. He said, “I think I know where Cassie is. Follow me.”

The hunters and the archangel were lead through the left side of the church and down dark winding corridors. Gabriel opened a gigantic wooden door that arched up to the ceiling. A long curling set of stairs was suddenly before them.

Gabriel looked up, Dean and Sam following the motion. The archangel said, “Rapunzel’s at the top of the tower.”

When Dean looked back at Sam and Gabriel, they were both chuckling silently.

Sam said, “get going, Prince Charming.” Dean shot them an angry look and started up the stairs.

————

When Castiel teleported into his room at the tower, he wasn’t expecting someone to already be there.

Castiel examined the goddess waiting for him. Her golden hair was loosely braided and curled at the back of her head, held up by sheer will and various pins. Her light pink eyes studied his inquisitively, her lips formed into an easy smile. Her dress was made of pink silk with red thorny roses sewn into the magic fabric.

Cas inclined his head. “Aphrodite.”

Cas was proud to have the goddess of love as his friend. She was patient with a biting sense of humor, and always answered Castiel’s questions about love. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, Hades,” Aphrodite said warmly.

“It’s been a busy few decades,” Cas mused.

Aphrodite smiled. “That it has.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Cas asked, sitting next to her on the small couch that he moved to the side of the room.

Aphrodite’s eyes seemed to glisten. “I sensed something different in you.”

Castiel knew what she meant, but his heart and positivity were still deep beneath the surface. Cas figured the ritual’s effects should wear off soon. 

Cas prompted, “different?”

Aphrodite regarded him closely. “I could tell that today was hard for you. And I think I know the reason.”

Suddenly, Castiel felt his heart being pulled out of the endless well he threw it in. He knew it was Aphrodite doing this, but he couldn’t bring himself to protest.

Her eyes glowed a bright pink as she looked through his chest. She gasped at what she saw there. Awestruck and near tears, she said softly, “you have found your Persephone.” The goddess downright giggled. “This is wonderful!”

Castiel felt his heart beating fast, surrounded by his ever-present shroud of darkness. It was the strangest mixture of emotions he’d ever felt.

Aphrodite studied his heart further. She said, full of wonder, “your very souls are bound together, and it is one of the strongest bonds I’ve ever seen!”

She gasped sharply, looking at Cas’s expression. She asked hesitantly, “you’re afraid that he won’t love you if he sees you like this?”

Castiel didn’t bother trying to hide his greatest fear. He nodded in affirmation.

Aphrodite took his hands. “You have absolutely no need to worry, Hades. I can feel his love for you, even now.” Her hands left his, the goddess gasping in surprise. “He’s coming. He’s coming for you, Hades.” Aphrodite stood up from the couch, Castiel looking at her in shock.

Was Dean really coming?

Aphrodite said, “he approaches. I’ll leave you now.” She gave him a quick hug, reassuring him with, “you’ll be okay, I promise.”

With a little wave, Aphrodite was gone.

————

Dean reached the final wooden door at the top of the tower, taking a few calming breaths.

Without second guessing himself, Dean knocked on the door.

He dug deep into his soul, feeling the bond reawaken and quiver. He knew Cas was in there.

Dean heard the door being unlocked from the inside.

Taking this as an invitation, Dean opened the door slowly.

Cas was sitting in the middle of the floor, cloaked in a cloud of blackness. His eyes had taken on a filmy quality, somewhere between gray and blue. 

Dean said, “Cas.”

Cas sighed at his husband’s voice, but didn’t move a muscle. He stared down at his magic rings, twirling them about as a distraction.

Dean moved closer, his boots making light sounds against the wooden floorboards. He stopped a few feet away, sitting crisscrossed on the ground.

Dean asked, “are you alright?”

Cas sniffled. “What kind of dumb question is that?”

Dean almost winced, but kept staring at Cas, who was refusing to look at him. “I’m worried about you.” Dean wanted to offer his hand, to close the gap between them, but decided against it.

Cas seemed awfully skittish.

Cas asked hesitantly, “did you see?”

Dean swallowed. He couldn’t lie to his husband. “Yes.”

Cas seemed to deflate, the darkness around him stirring and feeding off of the angel’s depression.

Dean knew that this moment was going to be the most important moment of his life. He couldn’t mess this up, or he wasn’t sure what would happen.

Dean kept his gaze on Cas’s, and began. “You were worried...what I would think of you, if I saw this part of you. The darkest part. You’ve been imagining worst case scenarios, where I would be disgusted by you and leave you and not love you anymore. But in all the time that you’ve had to think of all the possibilities and outcomes, did it ever occur to you,” his voice grew soft, “that I wouldn’t care?” 

Cas finally looked at Dean, confusion in his rapidly-changing blue eyes.

Did the lack of gray in his eyes mean he was getting through to him? Dean certainly hoped so.

Dean held the angel’s gaze and continued, “I don’t care that you’re Hades. I don’t care about who you were before. I care that you’ve become this incredible angel that I love. This doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change how much I love you.” Dean saw the darkness enveloping Cas start to dissipate, his cloak losing its color. 

He was turning back to normal.

Dean kept talking. “I’ve already shown you the worst in me. I’ve been waiting patiently for you to show me the worst in you. Now that I’ve seen it, we can forget about this, if you really want to. We can never talk about this again, if you’re not comfortable discussing it. But I need you to know something.” Dean watched as strips of blackness dissolved into thin air as he spoke. Cas’s blue eyes were watching him brightly. “I need you to know that I love you as much as I did yesterday, and as much as I will tomorrow and every other damn day until there’s none of me left.”

At those words, every trace of Hades disappeared.

It was only Cas left, sitting on the floor, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Cas slipped the depowered rings off of his fingers — their weight clinking against the floor — as he struggled not to cry.

Dean felt their bond within his soul start to burn hotter and brighter than it ever has.

He must have done something right.

Cas crawled over to Dean and sat so that their knees were touching. Cas took Dean’s hands in his own, rubbing his thumbs across Dean’s knuckles. They both shared a smile and Cas leaned forward, resting his forehead on Dean’s. They closed their eyes and breathed each other in, focusing on their pounding heartbeats for a moment.

Dean opened his eyes and noticed how weary Cas was. “Tired?” Dean asked quietly.

“Capturing Lucifer single-handedly, killing demons, and closing a portal to Hell will do that to you.”

Dean chuckled. “You’re such a badass, darlin’.”

Dean caught the tail end of one of Cas’s timid grins. “I aim to please.”

Dean hummed an affirmative. He gave Cas’s hands a squeeze. “Wanna get outta here?”

Cas pressed his lips softly to Dean’s, the hunter deepening the kiss. Cas mojoed his silver wedding ring onto his hand and said warmly, “let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 will be out within the next two weeks (Part 4 in this series). Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
